wad a day. *frowns*
My mood's the same as tess. too mani teeny stuff going on in our personal lives i guess. had a really stupid wk. but i tot studying was the best for this wk. tt's weird. I'm getting engrossed in politics. gee...how boring can i get.
anw, band pracs has totally drained me. and the j1s, i hope we won't get those few after 1st 3mths. if they are appealing, i'd go for 'no-no'. an eye for an eye. attitude for attitude. not trying to be mean, but i can't stand it. i'm hot-tempered. easily.
friends? just seems that everyone's teasing me bout ck together with mi now. it may be of a pessimistic view, but tt's the fact. i hate it. can u guys ask mi other stuff than teasing. u call that friends? u call that conversation. crap.
family. the stupid shopping. guys did the shopping. gals did the waiting. wad has the world become. waited for 2 blardee hrs. when i'm supposed to have my dinner. and due to tt rush, i got into a mess with ck. and shithead, i almost cried.
EVERY single night since a wk ago, there is at least 5 smses from band members. my bill is obviously exploding. and only god knows that this is the reason behind all. i seriously need to take a huge break. why on earth are there night band pracs when the CAs are here.
can everyone just let mi live peacefully for a day. no sms from band. no naggings. NOTHING. just shut up and let mi live the way i want. only for a day. can you help me.
posted @ 2:46 PM
The BEDROOM and The BED-Part ll
hmmmz...haha! U guys tot i'm crazy to blog bout this beddy thingy rite...
Actually, the reason why i blog bout this coz this saying was actually written in a part of a novel by Margaret Atwod, enticing readers how wonderful the bedroom can do mani things for us...she's just trying to provoke readers to allow them to reflect the plot, the settings of where they lie upon their most emotional self.
And I, the piggiest person u may have ever meet...coz i love to slp on my bed alot...was astounded by the fact of what our own BEDROOM and our BED can do for us...if u reflect back on the saying, dun u think it's true...and it applies to every single person out there?
This was what i was taught in literature tutorial ytd...fun har? ms kwok was teaching us OTHELLO...the moor of venice (a black) and his love, Desdemona (a white). The play ends tragically, where Oth reveals his true, cruel self by suffocating Des, his most beloved, where they had gone thru ups and downs together, with a pillow in the BEDROOM. The significance of how one's true self is shown in this text...and just by misunderstandings that led to Oth killing Des without any hesitant...
Basically, tt's bout the grasp of the ending of the play. If i talk bout OTHELLO in depth, think we will all faint...and slp halfway...hahaha! kaish...gtg liao! SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI!
posted @ 3:45 AM
-The BEDROOM & the BED-
-The BEDROOM & the BED-
The BED is where your mother gave birth to you.
The BEDROOM is where you seek comfort.
The BEDROOM is where you are at your most humane self.
The BEDROOM is where you let your emotions flow.
The BEDROOM is where your privacy, your inner-self lies.
The BEDROOM is where you cry.
The BED is where you make love, be it the person you love or not.
The BED is where you share with your most beloved one, caressing him/her when you wake up.
The BED is where we sleep and rest.
The BEDROOM is where you eat chips and slack.
The BEDROOM is where you listen to the music you love.
The BEDROOM is where you gossip with your friends.
The BEDROOM is where you whisper mushy conversation to your partner.
The BEDROOM is where you disallow your family members to invade your privacy.
The BEDROOM is where you hang up motivating posters.
The BEDROOM is where you scold vulgarities if you do not want anyone to listen.
The BEDROOM is your shelter.
The BED is the one you spend most of the days with.
The BEDROOM is where you dream, and where you have nightmares.
The BEDROOM is what you love.
The BEDROOM is your personal, private home.
The BEDROOM supports your emotional behaviour.
The BED supports your physical behaviour.
The BED is what you rely on.
The BED is where you eventually rest peacefully and leave the world.
The BED and the BEDROOM are the different physical choices that you choose that will never leave you.
The BED and the BEDROOM follows you and stays obedient till death do you apart.
Now realising that the BED and the BEDROOM have endless benefits,
Did you ever take it for granted?
posted @ 1:09 PM
Sigh
I come back feeling realli tired. All i want is rest, love from everyone, home and no nothing that makes mi feel depressed.
It's not that i dun wan to do my hw. It's just tt i'm tired to do it. I'm just a slacker. Wad can i do. So flooded with hw, band pracs and esp 'high blood pressure'. Flunk my test. Fell alseep during lecture.
Wad a bad day...starting from last nite actually when i got realli pissed off from all the late night calls that i have to do so much more at such a late night. calling 20ppl. and photocopying ALL their scores...when ani clarinetists just easily told mi 'SL, i lost this piece'...'SL, I dun have this piece'... As if i have unlimited access to my photocopying card. HELLO! I'm saving up money for gdness sake...! and u think i'm a superwoman?! 20 ppl. by just telling jok kuan to set up my instrument is such a chore for her...or by asking ppl to help mi photocopy a few scores is not their job, and it's my job...RIGHT.
It's my job afterall. aniwae, who's as dumb as mi to waste 25 sheets of paper at a go...got ordered by j1s. whined by j1s. scores not enuf. got crap recently from mrs tan bout the backdrop. Someone with 'high blood pressure' indeed. I seem to kick up a fuss. but be in my shoes. get ordered. see wad u deserve.
I feel like an idiot. And i come hm with more things to worry. Such a pathetic & idiot gal am i. So idiotic tt i even have to plead jc, tess and dave to help mi call their particular section mates and get yx to help mi msg a few of my members. Putting on a facade at times. How wise can i be...
posted @ 1:14 PM
waiting...
Waiting for 3.30pm to arrive...to go for piano theory lesson...eh, i haven't done my weekend hw yet...hahaha...
I was reading my recent past entries...Jan 07, read and i almost cry...well, tears didn't fall, but it was inside my eyes...haha...i dunno how to describe wad i'm thinking either...just waiting...
hmph. dunno wad to blog liao...i feel foolish at times...haha. Think of him when i wake up, when i go to sch, when it's during lessons, when it's band prac, when i'm stoning, when i'm chatting on msn, when i check his mails, when i need to go to my piano lessons alone...i miss him. dun even know whether i dream bout him or not...maybe i didn't, but the funny thing is when i wake up it just tends to create an image of him in my mind...
gosh. i can't continue. if not my tears will fall. haha! bye peeps...
posted @ 6:49 AM
Another day
I think I wanna change into another blogskin again...this blog looks too cute for mi. brrr...haha! The music's too loud and ya la...bla bla bla...
I'm into 2 songs lately. Polar Express's 'When Christmas comes to town' and Andrea Bolleci's+Sarah Brightman's 'Con te Partiro'-Time to say goodbye. Dun mind the lyrics la...I'm in love with the melody, the background music...and the tone quality...superb.
Ytd was quite...i dunno...erm...i can't find the word...ok. erm. just weird. Usually, boi will call mi daily...then i got so tired as i was reading Cleo till i feel asleep on my bro's bed as there were strangers painting in my hse. I woke up at 10+pm, which was the usual time tt boi will call mi. I somehow had the feeling tt he won't call tt night, and bingo! I'm so right. haha...think he's working well with his 'wife', and all those runnings...tire him out easily. poor boi...
I got aches too from all those running...and incline...and jumps...shoots. it's screen test next wk...but there's hw! tons of them for this weekend...and i still feel like lazing ard. haha! my weekend's gonna be taken away from band prac, gp project, piano and hw! weee! Have to call 'thousands' of clarinetists now...
boi: come back quickly...i miss u...clear ur own mails next time. i dun wan to 'see' michelle...haha...see for it urself...every sec passing by, 7 more days. I'm waiting...
posted @ 10:09 AM
crying...
I was supposed to touch my hw at 630. and it's 8.28pm now. and i'm still stoning. after a huge yet minor fright. Oxymoron huh.
How can things be so complicated and paradoxical? I found out sth which i'm not supposed to know. izzit not? Tried to control but i still cried, not much though. but my heart's aching, really really painfully. For some stupid god-knows no big deal reason.
I'm not crying already. But it seems like it will happen again, anytime. Totally shocked. Disappointed. Maybe misunderstood. But my imagination and thoughts go further as time passes.
I sincerely pray i can find the answer to my poignant emotion.
posted @ 12:38 PM
pray
It's only 2 days. haha. Trying to keep myself occupied. Guess wad. I was late thrice in the 1st wk...gosh...one was due to a minor car accident...pls pray for mi to be able to wake up earli alright? starting from this wk...pls make mi throw myself out of bed...
Anw, back to the topic...tired...sheesh. It's near 12am and I'm still blogging. 4 more min to the new wk. haha...or actually, sunday is already counted the new wk. I miss my boi. so much. quarrelled with dad over some matters today...and i cried. i'm ok now. just some normal stuff.
I dreamt bout having econs test...wad a nitemare...and i woke up in cold sweat...reminding myself wadeva hw i have...was trying to complete my piano theory hw in 1 and a half hrs time...when the normal timing for a paper's 3hrs. haha...left one qns...and did right in the studio at the spot...
2 days. hah. 11 more days to go. though he still msges mi these 2 days. awhile. and he may not be able to for the next few days. every sec i'm thinking...can u imagine...*faints*...getting the sickness...booooooo...nooooooooo...
haha. gtg slp...it's 12.05! morning peeps...happy schooling!
posted @ 4:05 PM
the boi
Exactly 2 wks more, and he will be back. I shall endure...going in on the 1st day, wonder wad he'll encounter...and his bald head...my gosh...hope i dun scream when i see him...hahaha!
I can't remember the days tt we got so pai seh to be seen together, till now...well, takes time to adapt larh...just met his 'mum' today...wad a funky 'mum' he's got...haha! I can't remember how he has flooded mi with smses. I can't remember how mani times we went to Jurong & Marina. I can't remember the times he sent me hm...it's uncountable...I can't remember how mani million times i ask him whether i can pop a strepsil into my mouth...I can't remember how mani times i was sleeping, and lying on his shoulder. But i can vividly remember his smile, his laughter, his sorrow, his emotions...and somehow or another, it's a weird feeling la. It's kinda like a deadly virus...passed onto mi. When i see him depressed...I fall down. When i see him smile, I try to act blur and still, but I'm actually glad and joyful...Magical creation, dun u think so? I nv encounter such magical moments...
And it's simply weird. Coz both are ordinary beings. One looks like a drug addict...and the other looks like a b****, having black nail polish...and 'funnily', we created this 'marriage', this bond. He's not like any other guy who share 'romantic stuff' with mi like the jerk who pointed stars to mi...He just makes mi feel comfortable, at hm and be myself.
2 wks. 14 days. I promise not to cry...will not! I'm strong...i'll endure...I'll enjoy my life! I'll set my 3rd alarm clock, I'll promise to eat my medicine regularly...promise to tk ca of myself, wad else? oh ya, no overdose of strepsils. The nightmares are gone. And the trust is within our hands...I pray for your safety...till i meet you. I love you.
posted @ 5:12 PM
sheesh
Sch starts. and i'm in bad bad bad health. coughing as if i'm dying. at least tt's wad yx says. heard ppl giving mi advice to drink lotsa water and all...and giving comments like my cough is pretty bad. haish. I wish i could stop the cough.
What's more? the food in the canteen kills mi. esp the wanton mee. totally pathetic. and i spotted lotsa curry...but i can't eat tt...killing me. band practices. ahhh. i'm tired. i feel like the other 2 3rd clars are going towards the flat side. i'm not sure. but i want to change the sound. the amplified sound. PE's disaster. sick yet i ran. tml there's PE again.
oh rite. i get pissed off esp when buddies such as dave and jlo starts to irritate me with all the misunderstandings, or during their 'bitching time'. got so heated up tt i gave dave attitude prob today. think he knows his limits. i've gotten so used to it till i can't be bothered with it. and yes, the guy who wears the 'moses' shirt and plays trombone is not gd-looking...
Gimme 1 or 2 days to stay at hm to recover. i need the weekend. headaches and cough's here. friday. so longing for friday. 1240...quickly! i wanna go out with the boi!
phlegm-my fLy
posted @ 2:46 PM
thinking
daddy bought mi ancient earrings today...so happi...but i was the one grumbling him to buy...haha...it was a gd buy, esp on the new year!
thinking thinking thinking...my mind going bonkers...i hate the feeling...very sensitive, ain't i? haish.
gotta slp now. gotta wake up at god-knows-wad hour. haish. nite peeps.
posted @ 5:31 PM
I'm numbed. I hesitantly received the arrival of the new year. Numbed by a freaky nightmare...still numbed now...dreamt tt i was abandoned, and i cried non-stop...my frens saw how much i cried...
then i dreamt bout leonard tan rehearsing some piece...and i was playing the piano in the piece...with another gal...duo pianos...
'Numbified'. haish. things running thru my mind again...sheesh...
posted @ 7:51 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!
weeeeee!!! it's 2005! it's 01/01/2005, saturday!!! it's the new year!!! sha la la la la...
*grumbles upon looking at my tummy* Lululululu...hahaha...my new phrase...too bad the boi's out working...should i wait till 5am? hehe...lemmi see...see whether i'm a pig...think i'll slp...but i'll try not to...Lululululu...
*grumbles upon looking at the hw piled up on my desk* sighz. think i'll have to do a little hw and my piano theory hw when i wake up tml...gee.
*grins* the painter is coming 5 days later...to repaint the walls of my house...yippee...i chose light purple for my room...oooo la la...it's yellowish beige now, and the living rm's pinkish beige...need to have a change of colour! and dads likes my decision! yay!!! 5 days to clear up my rm though...messy rm...oh gosh...
NEW YEAR NEW YEAR NEW YEAR'S here...Lululululu!!!
posted @ 6:13 PM
Phew. Sure is going to be tough.
FIRST UP...
THE BADS:
Im hot-headed. Very easily hot-tempered. BAD BAD BAD.
Im as stubborn as a mule.
I dislike tummy. u know? fats? tummy? ugh.
I particularly moan and groan and roar and scream at ppl who lie to me.
I got a weak heart.
I think i got high blood pressure. Did I mention I get stressed up over the slightest stuff?
OH OH OH. I procrastinate ppl who don't respect me. U really need to take a good look at yourself.
My eyes can pop out. BEWARE.
I think I love bitching.
I eat irregularly. Tat explains me not growing up.
Oh yes. One more. I wake up when the sun sets. COOL HOR.
NOW FOR THE GOODS! YIPPEE!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I love socialising. alot alot!
I want to become a model of my own world. YAYA. DREAM ON.
I love those who love me. Embrace, cherish and all nicey stuff! *HUGSSSS*
Ah. Yes. I love colouring my toe nails, buying chunky earrings & being pretty though i dun think im worth it.
I LOVE PARADOXES OF LIFE. I LURVE, LURRRVEEEE, LURRRRRRRVVVVEEEEEEEE THEM.
FOR GDNESS SAKE, DUN CLASSIFY ME AS 'CY LOVES TO BE A PRINCESS!' YUCKS. MY TERM: RAGDOLL. ugly and tattered. damn cool.
I can go on forever. I'll just stop here. Know more bout me thru my entries! *wriggles my nose*