My days in SRJC-3rd
[STUDIES]
Argh, studies as usual, was boring. I merely passed my economics test. And for the 1st test of C Maths, i scored 27/30. I seem not to be balancing my studies with my leisure time. During this period of time, I was struggling among Hi-5 Camp X meetings, LOADS of band practices for the upcoming Bb concert on 27th feb and my studies. I was totally burned out. Studying is part and parcel of life. It seems so interesting and fascinating, yet so boring and dull. Isn't it? I skipped school for about a total of 4 days in these 2 mths. Due to reasons such as I just don't feel like going to school, woke up late...And I just told my parents the truth why i'm not going to sch on tt day. They regard attending school as a very important priority. That's why sometimes I'm so afraid to just tell them that I skipped school. Nevertheless, I told them. Ok. I told them. I talked to my parents bout it and they accept my explaination. I explained that I'm so burned out sometimes that I woke up late. Bla bla bla...
As i've said, STUDIES is a boring subject. Let's skip it, huh? yea...hahaha!
[THE DAY BEFORE THE RELEASE OF 'O' LEVEL RESULTS]
I couldn't eat for the whole day. These 3 mths, I've been having all sorts of dreams and nightmares. I prayed alot. I prayed to God even though I'm a free thinker. I prayed so hard that I had no mood to even listen to music or even play the piano. Those two were my favourites according to my leisure time. I was panicking. The 'what-ifs' came into my mind. What if I failed my EL?
*TOUCH WOOD* What if I dun get my desired results (although i dun have one)? What if my family weren't satisfied with my results? What if I can't perform well for my band concert knowing that my results are poor? All these minor little flashes came across my mind. I was freaked out. Panicked. Afraid of facing the reality for this moment. I couldn't get to sleep. It was a day of torture for me.
[RELEASE OF 'O' LEVEL RESULTS]
A torturous day yesterday has been brought on today. It was the climax of my 'concentration camp'. I forcefully drank a cup of warm milo down my throat at 11+am. I called up my friend, Clara, to talk to her to calm both of us down. We agreed on a deal. If I get below 18pts for L1R5, i'll let her slap me. If she gets below 15, I'll slap her. That was a cranky deal. But it'll at least let us calm down. Following that, I decided to meet Ricky for lunch at 1pm. It was for LUNCH. But i didn't manage to eat. I simply had no appetite. I had 2 major events to worry today. The release of 'O' level results which concerns my future. The other which is my sch's band concert for that evening. I met Ricky at Boon Keng Mrt control station. Janice, KG and SL appeared too. hahaha! But, i was too afraid to go to sch then. So, i went out with Ricky for a walk while the 3 of them head to sch's library.
At 2pm sharp, we headed to sch. My feet got heavier each step I'm nearer to BSS. I had never felt such a pressure before. Every min, I asked Ric to slow down his walking pace. I'm just too afraid. "I am so near my results, yet so far." That was a good saying by Ric.
When I entered my former Bendemeer Secondary School, I saw familiar faces. My juniors, my teachers, my peers...all wishing me good luck. The more they wished me, the more afraid i was. I entered the hall. My heartbeat for the day was going unusually fast. Before reaching school, I cried silently at home twice. I'm just so afraid to look at my results, fearing that I might just collapse in the multi-purpose school hall. I had friends calling me up, sms-ing me to wish me luck. My marks was fixed. My heart wasn't. It was beating extremely fast. I used to watch my seniors getting the results in the past. Now, it was my turn. There was the extreme tension. Sooner or later, I knew i had to get back my results. My SRJC's band sectional leader (clarinet section), YiQin, called me up straight after his lessons which was his lunch time to find out how i'm doing. He tried to calm me down. He consoled me. He was just there for me. He's a real great guy. A true friend indeed.
The next moment, it was my turn to collect my results according to my class's register number. I walked up, heading to my ex-form teacher, legs feeling weak. I sat down. My hands numbed. I totally stopped breathing for a moment. I told him I'm very afraid of facing my results. Then, he gave me two choices. 1) He'll read the grades out for me. 2) He'll give me the reply slip. I chose the 2nd option. The 1st one could just have given me a heart attack. Then, I flipped my results slip. EL-B3. I cried for joy. I always got C for EL. and now, a high B. When I looked at my Com Hum grade, A1-I was shocked.
I screamed at my ex-form teacher. He laughed. I saw the true laughter from his face. I saw the expression that he was glad and satisfied for me. I saw that he was happy for me even though he taught me Chemistry and i made a freaky C5 out of it. He was a great teacher even though he was not close to me and even though some of my classmates didn't like him. My mind was a blank. I wanted to count my LIR5. But I took about 3 min to count it. My teacher patiently waited. 14! I screamed once again! I was sooo delighted!!! I shook his hand with my warmest heartfelt thanks. He smiled. I felt like crying at that moment.
Next, i went
screaming at the top of my voice at my Com Hum teacher, Mr Malcolm Tan, who taught me History and Social Studies. I thanked him thrice for believing that I can get an A1. That he put through all his effort just to interest us in history which i thought was a boring subject. I thank him for the songs that he wrote for the graduating classes. His emails. His wishes for me. His teachings. Everything. He shook my hand too. And I really really do felt like crying at that time. After that, I searched for Mr Kelvin Yap, my EL teacher, who is recently teaching in RI now. I thanked him for having his patience to teach me EL. How to answer my qns to comprehension, how to improve my summary, how to avoid unnecessary statements, how to improve my standard of el...He was one of the best teachers i can ever have when my class felt pressurized, when our class got scolded. He was the one who lifted the hearts of 4E1. He was the one who cared to share our burdens, who has been there whenever we have problems regarding studies or out of that. He was one of the teachers who motivated me and pushed me up to my limits. Thank you, Mr Yap.
Then, I went back to thank Mr Benedict Tan, my ex-form teacher again. I told him my LIR5 score-14. It improved with a score of 6 when i got 20 for my prelims. I was simply overjoyed. He was surprised too. Bet he forgotten my results. hahaha! He shook my hand non-stop...I was so happy that I felt like flying in the air. I could only jump. And i jumped non-stop with laughter. With pure laughter. I felt a sigh of relief. I breathed deeply. BSS is a school that I have not regretted choosing although some said bad comments bout it. 4E1 was definitely a class full of laughter and sorrows. It was those days when we shared, cared, love...
In that hall, the top 3 scorers for 4E were from my class. The 2nd was so happy that she cried. She's fiona. And she's really humble. My pri sch mate too. Real good. 1st and 3rd was Elamaran and Belinda respectively. As i expected. They were those good bunch of ppl who have high grades all over their results slips.
In that hall, I saw JLo crying. I saw him breaking down as he couldn't get his desired results. Before he got his results, I was there to calm him down, making sure that he will do better than me. He qualified for JC. But not his desired JC. I sms-ed him at night. And he felt better.
In that hall, I saw Clara crying before she gets her results. She cried because she was too afraid to know her results. She got 11 pts. I got 14. She slapped me, and i slapped her. That's our deal if you read the above excerpt. It was a moment of satisfaction. That we laughed together. That we did funny stuff, funny deal on the release of results.
My juniors went around asking me my results and i gladly told them my results. I was proud of my results for this moment even though 14 may not seem to be a good pointer to some of the ppl out there. Friends from all over singapore, family members started calling me. I was bombarded with "Hey! How's your results?" My younger bro was so worried that he called about 5 times.
That freako. haha...Some of them receive lower pts, some the opp. But, it doesn't matter. So long as I've done my best, I'm satisfied.
Phew! Today was a moment of deciding my future. And I'm glad that I had alot more options to choose rather than the 1st 3 mths. I was satisfied.
*Continue...*
posted @ 4:00 AM
Phew. Sure is going to be tough.
FIRST UP...
THE BADS:
Im hot-headed. Very easily hot-tempered. BAD BAD BAD.
Im as stubborn as a mule.
I dislike tummy. u know? fats? tummy? ugh.
I particularly moan and groan and roar and scream at ppl who lie to me.
I got a weak heart.
I think i got high blood pressure. Did I mention I get stressed up over the slightest stuff?
OH OH OH. I procrastinate ppl who don't respect me. U really need to take a good look at yourself.
My eyes can pop out. BEWARE.
I think I love bitching.
I eat irregularly. Tat explains me not growing up.
Oh yes. One more. I wake up when the sun sets. COOL HOR.
NOW FOR THE GOODS! YIPPEE!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I love socialising. alot alot!
I want to become a model of my own world. YAYA. DREAM ON.
I love those who love me. Embrace, cherish and all nicey stuff! *HUGSSSS*
Ah. Yes. I love colouring my toe nails, buying chunky earrings & being pretty though i dun think im worth it.
I LOVE PARADOXES OF LIFE. I LURVE, LURRRVEEEE, LURRRRRRRVVVVEEEEEEEE THEM.
FOR GDNESS SAKE, DUN CLASSIFY ME AS 'CY LOVES TO BE A PRINCESS!' YUCKS. MY TERM: RAGDOLL. ugly and tattered. damn cool.
I can go on forever. I'll just stop here. Know more bout me thru my entries! *wriggles my nose*
